Cynicism???

Watch this video.

Don't think you can send someone else that will be any better.
The "I'm not an insider"s are INSIDERS.

From Great Expectations to Low

Here are some reasons for no posts in a long time: health issues, both emotional and physical; new pup in the house along with the elderly pup; too much heat and humidity.

But here is the really big reason: Cynicism.
From that follows Frustration.

a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.

(one definition)

Below are my exact feelings about my "fellow 'Murcans", mostly the ones here in the so-called heartland:

—Synonyms
1, 3. Cynical, pessimistic, sarcastic, satirical imply holding a low opinion of humanity. Cynical suggests a disbelief in the sincerity of human motives

(Ref.)

I am sure I'll get over it, again. But each time I go through this it takes longer to have great expectations or even positive expectations.
Tao